Helping an Adult Prepare for a Disability Call Without Taking Over

Start by asking the adult what help they want

Before anything else, ask. Some people want a helper to do most of the talking; others want someone quiet beside them who takes notes. A law firm or Social Security may need the adult’s permission before discussing the claim with you, so it helps to settle in advance whether they want you on the call at all.

Before the call

• Gather the latest letter from Social Security, the date it arrived, the provider list, and the medication list.
• Write down the two or three questions the adult most wants answered.
• Practice once. Ask how a typical day goes, and let them answer in their own words.

The First-Call Checklist puts all of this on one page, including a section for people calling on someone else’s behalf.

During the call

Let the adult answer questions about their own health and history. Your job on the call is not to answer for them. It is to make sure nothing gets lost, so take notes, and add something you have seen yourself only when it helps or when you are asked.

After the call

Read your notes back together while the call is fresh. Write down any deadline, what happens next, who does it, and anything you were asked to send. Put the deadline on a calendar you both see.

When the adult has trouble speaking for themselves

Slow the pace. Write the questions down ahead of time, take breaks, and let the adult point to a written answer if that is easier. If they want you to act for them formally, the Helping Someone guide explains how an adult appoints a representative.